Well, it is one of the most difficult things a parent probably has to do, but its necessary. At some point you have to let go and let God, as they say.....Let them go, have more freedoms, have more decision-making and experience the consequences for both to help them become reasonable, responsible adults. And at the same time, pray that they go down the right path.
I was really having a hard time letting Kristen do things with her boyfriend and friends and I had to really think about why. I had to remember what I was doing at that age and remind myself that I turned out pretty good (if I do say so myself!), so its not all bad and treacherous out there in the real world. It all came down to me wanting to protect her from all the hurts and pains that can come along with making a few wrong decisions, but in the end, she needs to experience some of that stuff in order to gain strength. The thing is, she is fairly good. She has had her struggles with stuff, but she doesn't drink, she doesn't smoke, she doesn't do drugs. Those are things she has decided for herself and I am proud of her for that. So, she needs to have a little more trust and freedom to start her separating, growing up process.
I feel much better about that now that I have "let go". I feel more content in letting her spend more time doing her things, whatever they may be and feel she may make decisions I may not, but they are her decisions. I do feel confident that most of her decisions will be good for her though!!
I also remembered during this soul-searching event that my own mother went a little crazy right around the time that I was 17 too. I couldn't understand why she was all of a sudden "hovering" and being weird and crazy and she finally confided in me that she was going through a "stage" with me growing up and all. So I am not all that out of line....its normal for parents to do this...at least normal for my mom and me. So that makes it normal, right?
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3 comments:
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Hooray for Kristen, and hooray for you! Being that I am on the total opposite side of child-rearing, I cannot imagine how tough it has to be to let go, but you're a wonderful mama to know that it is time to do so. I think you're as normal as they come and your mom is, too, so don't worry about that. Good for you!
your post was beautiful joanna. it is hard. my mom got weird too around my junior/senior year and she finally confessed to me she was mad at me for growing up. not like i had a choice in the matter but now, as a mom, i can see where it's just as hard on the parents to go thru it as it is for the teenager/emerging adult! hang in there and i thing your new perspective is a great thing!
xo
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